Just 7 months ago, I was done; I wanted out of Uganda; I was burnt out. Funny how time can change so many things. I'm so thankful for the last 7 months as God has shown me some amazing things through this last stage of my time in Uganda. There's so much to share about what God has and is continuing to show me, but for now, I'm preparing to leave a place I called home for 3 years.
I knew it was going to be tough leaving this place, but I didn't realize the impact that I've had on so many different people during my time here. God allowed me to be blessed over the last few days to see how much I was appreciated here in Uganda. In a few hours I'll be boarding a plane that will begin a journey home, but it is bittersweet. Though I know I'll have family anxiously awaiting my arrival at LAX, I also have family in Uganda that is very saddened by my departure.
One thing God has showed me during the last few weeks when I was often tempted to stay here in Uganda is that it would be an easier decision to stay and continue my comfortable life here, but He has called me back for a reason. Not quite clear on that reason yet as I continue to seek employment opportunities, but I have peace that it is His perfect plan. So as I leave pray for the kids here in Uganda that I am leaving and pray for me that God will continue to grow me and shape me.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
End of a season
There has been a lot of speculation over the last 6 months or so as to what my future plans were. Many people have been asking me and others who know me well what my plans were going to be.
I prayed a lot about this and at one time thought I would commit to stay in Uganda for an extended period of time. However, God never gave me a peace about staying. On one end, I feel like there is so much more work to do here, but in the end though I love so many things about Uganda and the ministry I am working with, I feel God calling me home for the next season. It doesn't mean I am closing the door on returning to Uganda in the future, I am very open to that if it is God's will, but for now I think it's time to return to the U.S.
That being said, I will be returning to the U.S. mid-June to begin the next season of my life. As you all are aware, the economy in the U.S. does not put me in a great position to be able to find a job. I have been researching opportunities to teach and have had a few interviews, but nothing that has progressed further than that. I ask for your prayers in this time of transition, and if you hear of any other open positions in teaching, ministry or otherwise, please think of me.
I have been blessed to be in Uganda for the last 3 years. The easy decision would be to stay as I have developed routines and a way of life here, but I know that God desires to use me at home in the same way that He has used me here in Uganda. Thank you for all your love and support, many of you have a major part in the success of my life as a missionary in Uganda.
I prayed a lot about this and at one time thought I would commit to stay in Uganda for an extended period of time. However, God never gave me a peace about staying. On one end, I feel like there is so much more work to do here, but in the end though I love so many things about Uganda and the ministry I am working with, I feel God calling me home for the next season. It doesn't mean I am closing the door on returning to Uganda in the future, I am very open to that if it is God's will, but for now I think it's time to return to the U.S.
That being said, I will be returning to the U.S. mid-June to begin the next season of my life. As you all are aware, the economy in the U.S. does not put me in a great position to be able to find a job. I have been researching opportunities to teach and have had a few interviews, but nothing that has progressed further than that. I ask for your prayers in this time of transition, and if you hear of any other open positions in teaching, ministry or otherwise, please think of me.
I have been blessed to be in Uganda for the last 3 years. The easy decision would be to stay as I have developed routines and a way of life here, but I know that God desires to use me at home in the same way that He has used me here in Uganda. Thank you for all your love and support, many of you have a major part in the success of my life as a missionary in Uganda.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Elections
There has been a lot of activity in Africa over the past few months. Southern Sudan passed a referendum to become its own nation. Many African nations have had their national leaders in place for a number of years which led to protests in Tunisia, Egypt and most recently in Libya. So knowing that President Museveni was running for another term, there were questions about what might happen during the elections.
Some teams canceled their summer trips knowing that 2011 would be an election year. Many ex-pats fled the country during the week of elections. There was a lot of uncertainty during that time. I'm thankful to report that other than some small disturbances in Kampala as a result of ballot stuffing for the mayoral race, the last week has been peaceful.
Maybe it's because of the heavy military and police presence. Maybe because many of the people still support Museveni. Either way, we were blessed to be spared a violent outcome so far. However, we hear that opposition leaders are calling for protests, and we never can be sure of what will happen. Continue to pray for Uganda.
Some teams canceled their summer trips knowing that 2011 would be an election year. Many ex-pats fled the country during the week of elections. There was a lot of uncertainty during that time. I'm thankful to report that other than some small disturbances in Kampala as a result of ballot stuffing for the mayoral race, the last week has been peaceful.
Maybe it's because of the heavy military and police presence. Maybe because many of the people still support Museveni. Either way, we were blessed to be spared a violent outcome so far. However, we hear that opposition leaders are calling for protests, and we never can be sure of what will happen. Continue to pray for Uganda.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
The RICH
As many of you know, I recently spoke at the Spiritual retreat for a local international school. The kids at this school reminded me of the kids that I worked with back in the U.S. Most of these kids were either from families from the U.S., Canada, or the UK serving as missionaries or wealthy African families.
Upon just arriving at the school prior to leaving for the retreat site, I felt a spiritual heaviness around the school. I had been to that school many times over the past few years to play basketball but had never felt this way before. The feeling was a resistance to the Word of God and the Holy Spirit by many of the students. I began to walk around praying as we prepared for the retreat. I knew that many of these kids had resisted the gospel possibly many times over, but that God wanted to reach them, to challenge them, to be with them. The task ahead was not going to be as simple as I had originally thought.
Being in Uganda as a missionary, you begin to realize that there are pretty much two classes of people: the poor and the RICH. And you begin to notice the large gap between the two. You see houses that rent for $2500 a month and then right next to them are people renting 10' x 10' rooms for $50 a month. The two are side by side, but separated by a huge divide. The poor rely on faith so much and trust the Lord to be their provider. The RICH rely on their own power to continue to make large amounts of money to continue living in their luxurious lifestyles.
For me, I'm used to preaching to the poor. Everywhere I've preached in Uganda, the people soak it up (at least outwardly) because they need the Lord to be their provider so I wasn't really prepared to preach to these RICH kids, many whom don't care at all about faith or think that their faith is good enough. Many of the kids were doing drugs and were comfortable telling me that fact, even to the point of bragging. Some of the kids told me that they had accepted Christ and were just enjoying life (drinking, drugs).
At the end of the week, I know that the Lord used me to challenge these kids. Many of them rededicated their lives to the Lord. Many of them had a renewed, strengthened faith. Even the ones most resistant to the gospel had at least heard me out. But after the retreat I realized what Jesus meant when he said, "Again, I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God." (Matthew 19:24) In Uganda, I am (unfortunately) considered rich. So I had to think to myself and make sure that my wealth is not getting in the way of my relationship with God. In the end, I'd rather have nothing (as difficult as that might be) and have Christ.
Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven where month nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where you treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21
Upon just arriving at the school prior to leaving for the retreat site, I felt a spiritual heaviness around the school. I had been to that school many times over the past few years to play basketball but had never felt this way before. The feeling was a resistance to the Word of God and the Holy Spirit by many of the students. I began to walk around praying as we prepared for the retreat. I knew that many of these kids had resisted the gospel possibly many times over, but that God wanted to reach them, to challenge them, to be with them. The task ahead was not going to be as simple as I had originally thought.
Being in Uganda as a missionary, you begin to realize that there are pretty much two classes of people: the poor and the RICH. And you begin to notice the large gap between the two. You see houses that rent for $2500 a month and then right next to them are people renting 10' x 10' rooms for $50 a month. The two are side by side, but separated by a huge divide. The poor rely on faith so much and trust the Lord to be their provider. The RICH rely on their own power to continue to make large amounts of money to continue living in their luxurious lifestyles.
For me, I'm used to preaching to the poor. Everywhere I've preached in Uganda, the people soak it up (at least outwardly) because they need the Lord to be their provider so I wasn't really prepared to preach to these RICH kids, many whom don't care at all about faith or think that their faith is good enough. Many of the kids were doing drugs and were comfortable telling me that fact, even to the point of bragging. Some of the kids told me that they had accepted Christ and were just enjoying life (drinking, drugs).
At the end of the week, I know that the Lord used me to challenge these kids. Many of them rededicated their lives to the Lord. Many of them had a renewed, strengthened faith. Even the ones most resistant to the gospel had at least heard me out. But after the retreat I realized what Jesus meant when he said, "Again, I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God." (Matthew 19:24) In Uganda, I am (unfortunately) considered rich. So I had to think to myself and make sure that my wealth is not getting in the way of my relationship with God. In the end, I'd rather have nothing (as difficult as that might be) and have Christ.
Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven where month nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where you treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21
Monday, February 7, 2011
The Lie that I Battle every day
Last week, I strayed away from the comforts of ministering to the youth here at God Cares to be the speaker for Hertiage International School's Spiritual Retreat for their secondary school kids. It was a blessing to be asked to do this, but it was also a lot of prep work to give 5 different talks to these students. In addition, these kids come from a completely different socio-economic background from the kids I'm used to working with at God Cares. However, the biggest challenge for me was the fact that these students religious backgrounds were so diverse. Through this experience, I learned a lot about myself .
The battle that seems to constantly occur inside my own head is that of my worth and need for affirmation. I really spent a good amount of time praying and preparing these talks for the students. However, most of the time, I just didn't feel like I was dynamic enough to get through to these kids. Maybe, there's something about having American peers watching me preach that made me a little uneasy inside (All the teachers and staff were from the U.S.). I guess I was looking for that affirmation that God really used me to reach these kids. Or was it that I was looking for affirmation that I did something for God.
I know that Satan was telling me lies the whole time that I wasn't good enough or I wasn't getting through to these kids, and it really wore on me for most of the week because at times I was claiming those lies. In my heart, I knew that I didn't need the affirmation of others because it wasn't my message, but God's, and that God should receive any glory for His message anyway. However, my pride wanted to feel like "I" did a good job. "I" was the one who changed these kids. "I" was the one who challenged them to live for Christ. When I write this, I just have to laugh at myself a little. I know that I am nothing and that Christ is everything, and the best way to get through to these kids is through Him and the Holy Spirit, not through me!
After some of the least dynamically delivered talks, God reached these kids and convicted them of their lives. Thank God for the conversations I had with a few of the kids there that really encouraged me. It reminded me that even with all my flaws, God can use me to impact others especially when I think I've failed.
Unfortunately, I am still battling the lies that I've claimed many years before I came to Christ and still hold on to: that I'm not good enough. I know that's not true, but for some reason I fall for that lie over and over again. This is going to be the year that I go toe to toe with that lie until it no longer keeps me enslaved.
The battle that seems to constantly occur inside my own head is that of my worth and need for affirmation. I really spent a good amount of time praying and preparing these talks for the students. However, most of the time, I just didn't feel like I was dynamic enough to get through to these kids. Maybe, there's something about having American peers watching me preach that made me a little uneasy inside (All the teachers and staff were from the U.S.). I guess I was looking for that affirmation that God really used me to reach these kids. Or was it that I was looking for affirmation that I did something for God.
I know that Satan was telling me lies the whole time that I wasn't good enough or I wasn't getting through to these kids, and it really wore on me for most of the week because at times I was claiming those lies. In my heart, I knew that I didn't need the affirmation of others because it wasn't my message, but God's, and that God should receive any glory for His message anyway. However, my pride wanted to feel like "I" did a good job. "I" was the one who changed these kids. "I" was the one who challenged them to live for Christ. When I write this, I just have to laugh at myself a little. I know that I am nothing and that Christ is everything, and the best way to get through to these kids is through Him and the Holy Spirit, not through me!
After some of the least dynamically delivered talks, God reached these kids and convicted them of their lives. Thank God for the conversations I had with a few of the kids there that really encouraged me. It reminded me that even with all my flaws, God can use me to impact others especially when I think I've failed.
Unfortunately, I am still battling the lies that I've claimed many years before I came to Christ and still hold on to: that I'm not good enough. I know that's not true, but for some reason I fall for that lie over and over again. This is going to be the year that I go toe to toe with that lie until it no longer keeps me enslaved.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Everything
This morning, I woke up super early (5:30 am) for two reasons:
1) Kids are screaming outside my window as they line up to get water for bathing.
2) I'm a little anxious about the next three days.
So instead of trying to get another hour of rest before getting ready for my day, I decided it was just best that I get up and get going. A few weeks back, I was asked to attend a spiritual retreat for Heritage International School in Kampala. If you know me, I embrace every opportunity to share with the youth whether it be in the U.S., God Cares Schools or otherwise. However, I might have gotten myself into something that is over my head. I was basically asked to share 5 times over 3 days.
As of last night, I had completed 2 of the 5 talks. That left 3 more to organize. I had the ideas but had yet to formally write them. I was worried, but not worried if you know what I mean. Thus, the anxiety this morning.
I got up and began to pray...I showered, formulated some thoughts, and began to write the third session. I knew I had to do something to catch the attention of the students so I began to think of videos that would help convey the messages of some of the sessions. The Spirit led me to a drama to Lifehouse's song "Everything". (Watch video) I hadn't seen this video in years so I began to watch. I found myself in tears knowing that if I just remain in the loving arms of my Lord and Savior, the next three days would be no problem. In my head, I knew this already, but I needed the kick in the booty region to get my heart to truly believe it, not just say it.
Please pray for the next three days as we leave this morning (Feb. 2) to go to Jinja. This school was founded as a school to support missionary kids. They are trying to get back to the core of following Jesus and have struggled to impact their students some of which are from missionaries and others are just rich kids (African or other). Many of these kids are as much in the world (drinking, drugs, etc.) as the kids of the U.S. Pray that this week would change lives for Christ.
Lastly...is Christ your everything? Or are you also being distracted by the world?
1) Kids are screaming outside my window as they line up to get water for bathing.
2) I'm a little anxious about the next three days.
So instead of trying to get another hour of rest before getting ready for my day, I decided it was just best that I get up and get going. A few weeks back, I was asked to attend a spiritual retreat for Heritage International School in Kampala. If you know me, I embrace every opportunity to share with the youth whether it be in the U.S., God Cares Schools or otherwise. However, I might have gotten myself into something that is over my head. I was basically asked to share 5 times over 3 days.
As of last night, I had completed 2 of the 5 talks. That left 3 more to organize. I had the ideas but had yet to formally write them. I was worried, but not worried if you know what I mean. Thus, the anxiety this morning.
I got up and began to pray...I showered, formulated some thoughts, and began to write the third session. I knew I had to do something to catch the attention of the students so I began to think of videos that would help convey the messages of some of the sessions. The Spirit led me to a drama to Lifehouse's song "Everything". (Watch video) I hadn't seen this video in years so I began to watch. I found myself in tears knowing that if I just remain in the loving arms of my Lord and Savior, the next three days would be no problem. In my head, I knew this already, but I needed the kick in the booty region to get my heart to truly believe it, not just say it.
Please pray for the next three days as we leave this morning (Feb. 2) to go to Jinja. This school was founded as a school to support missionary kids. They are trying to get back to the core of following Jesus and have struggled to impact their students some of which are from missionaries and others are just rich kids (African or other). Many of these kids are as much in the world (drinking, drugs, etc.) as the kids of the U.S. Pray that this week would change lives for Christ.
Lastly...is Christ your everything? Or are you also being distracted by the world?
Monday, January 31, 2011
New Year's Resolution
So I'm not much for New Year's resolutions, but it seems like every time I have something cool to blog about, I just forget or make excuses such as wanting to get some pictures to post with the blog. So I looked at the date of my last blog and realized it's been almost 3 months. Truthfully, not much has happened since that last blog. School has been out since Dec. 3 and just began again this morning, and I was in the U.S. for much of their holiday break. (Sorry if I didn't get to see you when I was in the States.)
So I'm back in Uganda as of Friday night and I'm not sure I remember it ever being this humid. Though it hadn't been too cold in California for much of the last month I was there, it was still a rude awakening from getting off planes in Detroit and Amsterdam where it was freezing to getting off the plane here in Entebbe at night.
So many things have changed since I was last here. The high school has officially opened as of today, and thus our high school is no longer walking distance. This hit me just a few minutes ago as I thought of my meeting with Pastor Dongo tomorrow. Previously when I had meetings at the church, I would go early to talk to teachers and students. What was I going to do tomorrow. It just seems weird.
Yesterday (Sunday), it hit me that the high school students would not be boarding here at the primary school anymore. Most of my relationships that involve good conversation were with the high school students. It feels a little empty around here without them.
With the vacancies left by the high school students, new students are boarding at the school. I've already met 4 new Sudanese boys and have seen at least 10 other students that I don't know, and we're not even half full yet!
So 2011 is going to be a lot different than 2010, but it's going to be an amazing year!
So I'm back in Uganda as of Friday night and I'm not sure I remember it ever being this humid. Though it hadn't been too cold in California for much of the last month I was there, it was still a rude awakening from getting off planes in Detroit and Amsterdam where it was freezing to getting off the plane here in Entebbe at night.
So many things have changed since I was last here. The high school has officially opened as of today, and thus our high school is no longer walking distance. This hit me just a few minutes ago as I thought of my meeting with Pastor Dongo tomorrow. Previously when I had meetings at the church, I would go early to talk to teachers and students. What was I going to do tomorrow. It just seems weird.
Yesterday (Sunday), it hit me that the high school students would not be boarding here at the primary school anymore. Most of my relationships that involve good conversation were with the high school students. It feels a little empty around here without them.
With the vacancies left by the high school students, new students are boarding at the school. I've already met 4 new Sudanese boys and have seen at least 10 other students that I don't know, and we're not even half full yet!
So 2011 is going to be a lot different than 2010, but it's going to be an amazing year!
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